After taking the field with Inter Miami, shopping at Publix and making a left turn at a red light, it’s safe to say Lionel Messi is one of us now. Although he seems to be fitting in nicely, there are several things that only people living in South Florida will truly understand, so the question had to be asked: “What should Messi do next to officially become a South Floridian?” We took to Instagram and Facebook to find out and our followers’ answers did not disappoint!
Whether you need a good laugh or are looking for some genuine advice, here are our favorite responses:
1. Host the next hurricane party 💀
2. Eat at Flanigan’s (Bonus: collect 5 Flanigan’s cups)
3. Sit on the Palmetto for an hour in traffic!
4. Order a chicken tender Pub Sub
5. Learn how to make Cuban cafecito for his whole team
6. Mix English and Spanish randomly in every sentence (Speak en Spanglish, bro)
7. Go to Club Space
8. Drive slower than the rest of the traffic in the single express lane
9. Steal some mangos
10. Go to the beach with a tent and enough food for 50 ppl and a boom box
Someone else worded this perfectly: Ir a la playa con carrito, cooler, techo, y quedarse todo el dia con toda la familia!
11. Don’t use turn signals while changing lanes
Or, if we’re getting more specific: cut across four lanes of I95 to make the exit at the last second (versus taking the next exit and doubling back) to cause a ten car pile up, all while flipping everyone off while doing it
12. Have a cortadito in Versailles
13. Start DJing
14. Get a Santa’s Enchanted Forest season pass
15. Play dominoes on Calle 8
16. Become a realtor
17. Weigh himself at Publix 😂
18. Buy a caja China for Noche Buena, pre-order lechon at Sedano’s
19. Go to the top of the “mountain” at Tropical Park
20. Drive around with his hazard lights flashing
21. Buy some furniture at El Dorado
22. Party at E11EVEN
23. Get a 305 tattoo
24. Go to El Palacio de los Jugos
25. Obviously get a BBL, duh
26. Be 30 minutes late to anything and blame it on a drawbridge knowing full well that that only takes 6 minutes
27. Go to Islas Canarias and have croquetas 😘🤌🏼
28. Shop at Ñooo Que Barato
29. Whip out all the coats and scarves the minute the temps hit 68!
30. 2 years at Miami Dade College
32. Have lunch at Chicken Kitchen or empanadas from Graziano’s
33. Getting a Wawa hoagie at midnight will make the transition complete
34. Win cups for Miami (most importantly)
35. A whole itinerary: Drive on the Palmetto, from end to end during peak rush hour, making it to Flannys for happy hour, hitting Tootsie’s after, then capping off the night by drunkenly stuffing his face at Los Verdes
Welcome to Miami, Messi!